Published in the first edition of Ashtray Journal in February 2022

Brushing Teeth

Zeke and April were in the bathroom brushing teeth. Zeke’s teeth. Zeke was haphazardly brushing using a specialty electric toothbrush with three bristled heads that faced each other. It’s supposed to make brushing less boring for people with ADHD. Zeke had explained when April asked about it the first night she had put Zeke to bed. Isn’t brushing teeth boring for everyone? She had asked. Yeah, well it’s even more boring if you have ADHD. When she got home that night, April looked up toothbrush for people with ADHD and found that the three headed toothbrush was advertised for people with autism. 

You want to hear another riddle? Zeke asked, the electric toothbrush buzzing outside of their mouth, flecks of toothpaste spewed onto the mirror. Yes, but finish brushing first. April sat on the closed toilet. I’m done, it’s been two minutes, it has a built in timer. April looked confused. It’s still buzzing. She quickly realized that the buzzing she could still hear was coming from the old fluorescent lights around the mirror, not the toothbrush. Ah! The lights are so loud I thought it was the toothbrush. Zeke looked at her and rinsed the three headed brush in the sink and returned it to the charging dock. Okay what does everything have in common? April looked at Zeke. What does everything have in common? She repeated slowly. Yeah, that’s the riddle. Umm, hmm….it’s everything...everything is everything. April said a bit tiredly. The two had been swapping riddles for about twenty minutes and her brain was starting to dwindle. No, guess again. April got up from the toilet to retrieve a towel hanging on a nearby hook and Zeke dried their face in the towel as April held it. Umm...everything is a thing? She knew that this wasn’t the answer. Everything is not a thing. No, not everything is an actual thing...some things are just...ideas. Do you give up? 

April thought for a moment, still holding the towel in her hands. She hung the towel back on the hook. Wait, uh, okay, yeah, I give up. What’s the answer? Zeke’s big eyes looked at April. There are two answers actually. Do you want to hear answer 1A or 1B? April raised her eyebrows. I want to hear both. Okay but which one do you want to hear first? 1A. Okay, it’s that everything is different. April smiled at Zeke. Ah, yes, of course. Everything is different. How about you wash your face and then tell me answer 1B? 

Zeke turned to the towel rack looking for a wash cloth and then turned back to April. I can go get you a washcloth or actually just wash with your hands and use a big towel to dry. Zeke moved to the sink, turned on the faucet, lowered their head and splashed water on their face using one hand. I’ll just use Mcgee. Before April could process what they meant Zeke kneeled on the floor over the gray mop of dog lying in the corner of the bathroom and wiped their face on Mcgee’s fur. Mcgee is not the cleanest towel in the world, don’t you think? A montage of images from their walk to the dog park earlier that evening flashed across April’s mind. Mcgee rolling in the dust. Mcgee getting humped by a massive husky. It’s fine, I feel clean. Zeke turned to leave the bathroom. April considered protesting, making them redo the face washing ritual with a clean towel. Ok, as long as you feel clean. They walked into Zeke’s parent’s bedroom. 

Are you ready for answer 1B? April slipped off her shoes and lay down next to Zeke in the king size bed. Yes. 

Ok...everything cannot be compared with itself. April thought for a moment. Hmm...I feel like you can compare something with itself. Zeke turned their head on the pillow to look at April. How? She looked at Zeke and then back at the ceiling. Like you could compare one part of something to another part of it. Like everything is made of multiple parts, lots of little pieces.

Yeah, I don’t know. Zeke replied. Yeah, I don’t know either, it’s a big question. April turned to the bedside table and grabbed the top book on the stack: Man’s War Against Nature by Rachel Carson. Wanna just read this? Yeah, sure. It’s definitely not a kid’s book, but ok. April opened the thin paperback to the first page and began to read: There was once a town in the heart of America where all life seemed to be in harmony with its surroundings.